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Return to the path

For most of my life I convinced myself I was a ‘lone wolf’.


I was conditioned to believe life’s challenges were to be handled alone. That reaching out for support was weak and made me a cheater. That strength was a matter of sucking it up and getting on with it. (regardless of the pain)


Asking for help usually left my insides twisted and contorted. Even on days where I somehow managed to swallow the glass in my throat, my requests were shut down before they even passed my lips.


I didn’t realize until my mid twenties I had suffered from a lack of authentic masculine. I had no idea what I was missing because I didn't know what it looked or felt like. The only glimpses I caught were in movies such as Gladiator or Lord of the Rings. It took me many years to recognise that a true masculine presence in your life is akin to a steady hand upon your shoulder, reminding you that fear is simply a degree of faith and no matter the struggle:

You aren’t alone.


It’s an unmistakable energy that fills you with deep sense of godly knowing that you are good enough. A sacred fire passed through the lines of men, igniting our potential and leading us towards the call of duty, so we may unleash our greatness upon the world and faithfully steward the next generation.


Without this powerful substance in our developmental years we can become deflated and impotent. We can struggle to develop a healthy relationship with our sense of self worth, we loose faith in the wisdom of our gut. Our primal instinct fades away into nothingness. Like the whispers of a candle long spent, our sacred fire burns out.


We can become frozen in time, a childlike psyche trapped inside a man’s body.


Our self doubt deafens us to our greatness. We find refuge in our comfort zone, never daring to face adversity or challenge. We becomes stuck, like a samurai sword rusted in it’s scabbard. We neglect our duty to artfully spar with the burdens of life. Instead, we retreat inwards, forging defensive layers around our faith and chaining our fears to the basement of our psyche.


The lack of mature masculine energy flowing through our culture is creating a generation of young men stuck in the shadows.



(without purpose)


(without support)


(without fire)


I was one of them.


Without a strong group of men in my life it became all too easy to shrink away from my personal responsibilities. Thick layers of rust began to settle upon the armour I’d created to shut everyone out and protect my reactive, childlike self. Before I knew it, the rust turned to rot, the plague of victimhood took residence. I wasted what little life-force I had giving the finger to the outside world. I numbed myself at every opportunity to avoid facing my own shadow.


If a great idea is denoted by lightbulb moment, my passage into men’s work felt like a flashbang.


Finally, the twisted and tormented parts of myself I’d abandoned in the basement were illuminated. Through initiations and the support of other men, I was finally able to shine a compassionate light on the darkest parts of my being. I began to undertake the messy painful work needed to face my childhood experiences and understand my patterns of self destruction.


I learned that when you are part of a brotherhood of men you’re forced to stand up straight and get your shit together. You’re lovingly challenged to sharpen your blade and return to the path. You’re heard and recognized in your struggles, but most importantly, your inner fire is reignited by sacred masculine energy.


You aren’t judged for who you are

You’re held, as you are.


You aren’t shamed for expressing yourself.

You’re encouraged to speak up.


You aren’t alone anymore

You’re supported and loved.


Cast your mind to any fabled group of men, be it hunters gatherers, spartans, the armed forces or even your favourite sports team. The roaring energy of brotherhood is mistakable. It’s plain to see, no man on this earth can achieve his greatness alone.


We’ve been brainwashed to believe we are weak failures if we can’t succeed from the sweat of our own backs and through the skin of our teeth.


If courage is the doorway to strength then vulnerability must be the key.


Over the years I’ve been fortunate enough to learn from and share in many rich  experiences with men all across the globe.

Every single man I’ve met with a strong masculine presence embodies these core truths:


- I am not a victim

- Life is happening for me, not too me.

- I am what I choose to make of myself

- I am defined by what I do, not what I say, think or feel.


If you’re struggling to author these principles into your own life script. I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to do it alone.


The age of the lone wolf is over.

Together we are stronger.


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